​​"My childhood was hurtful enough but a church hurt leaves lasting detrimental wounds associated with a place of refuge."

-Morlan, K. (2018) "TREASURES in The Trash"

  1. Kristy's dad, as a young boy, and his family
    Kristy's dad, as a young boy, and his family
  2. Kristy's mother's drawing while in school.
    Kristy's mother's drawing while in school.
  3. Kristy's dad served on WWII PT Boat.
    Kristy's dad served on WWII PT Boat.
  4. One of Kristy's family's Trunk photo.
    One of Kristy's family's Trunk photo.
  5. Kristy's parents while dating.
    Kristy's parents while dating.
  6. Kristy's mother as a young woman.
    Kristy's mother as a young woman.
  7. Kristy's mother at age fourteen.
    Kristy's mother at age fourteen.
  8. A drawing Kristy McMorlan's mother did.
    A drawing Kristy McMorlan's mother did.
  9. Kristy's McMorlan's mother.
    Kristy's McMorlan's mother.
  10. The mysterious Aunt Clara as a young woman.
    The mysterious Aunt Clara as a young woman.
  11. Kristy McMorlan and her stuffed dog.
    Kristy McMorlan and her stuffed dog.
  12. Kristy's father as a young boy.
    Kristy's father as a young boy.
  13. Kristy's great-uncle and grandfather
    Kristy's great-uncle and grandfather
  14. Kristy's father as a young man.
    Kristy's father as a young man.
  15. Kristy's family's photo.
    Kristy's family's photo.


Book Excerpts

1. I’m not who I once was.

Isn’t that a foundational belief of our Christian faith?

Change is inevitable. Growth is sought after. Repentance is a doorway to Grace.

Real change begins with admitting a need for Grace. Denial blocks Grace.

Unless a person acknowledges the problem, there is no hope for a cure, recovery, resolution, or healing. 
-McMorlan, K. (2018) "TREASURES In The Trash" Chapter 1 Understand Patterns

2. The truth is I had amnesia, I believe as a result of Mom’s mental health condition.

I likewise was traumatized by Dad as well as my ex-church leadership. I had repressed memories due to childhood trauma.

When I discovered this, I was a little prejudiced in my own thinking, wanting to keep the secret to myself.

I didn’t want labels, judgments, pity, or especially condemnation.

My childhood was bad enough with the parts I could remember; whatever happened in the parts I couldn’t remember frightened me.

I wasn’t fine, but if I was asked, “How are you?”  I’d answer, “I'm fine,” because I needed time to process and accept it myself before I could expect others to accept it.

I asked myself, “If I was narrow-minded in my own eyes, how was I ever going to step out of my own denial? 
-McMorlan, K. (2018) "TREASURES In The Trash" Chapter 2 The I'm Fine Lie

3. Dad frequently sought his own desires, rather than stepping back and being mindful of Mom’s and his children’s needs.

In my opinion, medication and alcohol shouldn’t have been mixed. Period. 

My parents’ priorities were unwholesome, and my childhood had lots of crazy mixed messages to sift through, in part because there eventually were four sides to Mom. 
  • 1. The one who was funny, personable, and creative. Mom could make the yummiest pie you ever had! Mom had a great smile. 

  • 2. The confrontational woman, which I still don’t think is always a bad thing. She could think on her feet and got things done. 

  • 3. The woman who sat in a darkened room and pulled the blinds.
  • This woman stayed hidden away, with little interest or interaction with others. She had a hearing impairment, which I believe influenced her decisions and eventual outcome.
  • 4. The woman who had five friends only she could see, because after a while some kind of mental disassociation arose.
  • Possibly because her medication and alcohol shouldn’t have been mixed, and her abuse, which probably never got put in its proper place.  
-McMorlan, K. (2018) "TREASURES In The Trash" Chapter 10 Reactiveness
4. The elephant that lives in the living room, which everyone feeds but ignores, is generally on a rampage destroying people, places, and things.

I can see it but do nothing about it, as it decomposes onto my life, depositing corrosive material into my life.

It frequently brings my life to a mere shadow of what I believe it could have been, because the elephant in the living room goes unidentified and others accommodate it.

Why couldn’t something similar occur within a religious environment; I believe it did. 
-McMrorlan, K. (2018) "TREASURES In The Trash" Chapter 13 Unhealthy Guidance

5. In view of the possible condemnation I could receive for disclosing who my mother was, I was groomed by Dad to not talk about Mom.

Unfortunately, Dad may have inadvertently initiated a response and I had the worst happen; my ex-church leaders condemned me for the mother I had.

A mother who’d passed away thirty plus years earlier. 
​-McMorlan, K. (2018) "TREASURES In The Trash, Chapter 27 Triggers, Hot-Spots, and Stressors 

​​The Treasure Trunk's Story 

Several years ago, Kristy's phone rang; the woman on the line started to ask her questions concerning who she was related to.

Kristy was apprehensive where this conversation was going; her dad’s physiological training about who Kristy belonged to had to be tampered down during this exchange.

She was relieved when the woman on the phone finally explained she had Kristy's great-grandfather’s trunk and was looking for the rightful owners. Kristy didn’t even know of the trunk’s existence until she received that phone call. 

This previously unknown trunk presented her with photos of a man who crossed the ocean to start a new life. He did so through what Kristy can only assume was a challenging and audacious sea voyage, during the 18th century.

Kristy's dad’s grandfather was disowned by an affluent family, because the story she had heard through her dad was: Her great-grandfather remained the unwanted bastard child of a prominent family. Kristy's dad’s great-grandfather was a fifteen-year-old boy from a prosperous family, while his great-grandmother was the family’s maid. Scandalous!

Kristy was told by her dad, her great-grandfather looked just like his biological father; there was no denying his parentage. Whereas Kristy can only suspect there was much shame and disgrace surrounding her great-grandfather’s birth.

She was told when her great-grandfather arrived in America, he tenaciously declared the family name of his biological father as his own. She now knows where her obstinate personality comes from!

Kristy is certain this story had been handed down throughout the generations; she is the fourth generation. 

Kristy has reasoned her great-grandfather must have exhibited a tenacious personality, and she gained a sense of personal identity and improved  self-esteem .  Previously  Kristy had struggled with thinking errors, because she was neglected and abused  in her childhood; she had believed her biological family was orphaned.

Kristy discovere, through the family Bible, which was stored in the trunk, her great-grandparents had seven children who lived to be adults, and a few who didn’t. Kristy realized her family wasn’t orphaned, as she was led to believe through her dad's guidance and  emotional abuse , resulting in her  C-PTSD .

Family must have been important to her great-grandfather, since there’s so many photos of the family. Photos which had been stored in this old trunk, and she's only now seeing. All those photos, inside this trunk, present people as having had money, resources, and assets; Kristy came to this conclusion through their clothing choices, and she gained a personal sense of belonging. 
This concept was contradictory to Kristy's dad's apparent core beliefs concerning family; Kristy finally found her inner voice , which had been attempting to surface and be discovered in a positive manor.
Even though faded, after over one hundred and thirty plus years, Kristy can clearly see her great-grandfather's name, and therefore Kristy's maiden name, is inscribed with paint on this old trunk.

This trunk carries much significance to Kristy! It's her "treasure" because it’s full of prized family photos; it gives Kristy a sense of birthright or citizenship. 

Through no work of Kristy's, her paternal great-grandfather’s trunk now sits in her living room; Kristy's dad’s dad, and his dad’s trunk. 

It’s also amazing to Kristy how this 30” x 16” x 19” trunk carried all of Kristy's great-grandfather’s belongings over the ocean to start his, per say, revival.

Whatever would she have chosen?!​